How to Stay Hopeful in Difficult Times: A Psychologist’s Practical Suggestions

Dear Jennifer,

Climate change, war, political polarization, cruelty…I feel overwhelmed every time I turn on the news or think about what the world will be because of what is happening right now. I want to feel positive and hopeful, but instead I feel myself growing more cynical about the future. How do I stay positive when everything feels so negative?

— Searching for Positivity

Dear Searching for Positivity,

You are not alone. I also feel the same struggle in my body, mind, and spirit. We seem bombarded today with awful news – climate change, war, uncertainty about our country’s future when we have such discrepant views about what we need right now…the list goes on…and on…and on, doesn’t it? It is understandable why such big issues without clear, easily identifiable solutions evoke difficult emotional experiences like helplessness, cynicism, anger, vulnerability, and disempowerment.

Returning to your question, Searching, sometimes turning to others’ wisdom can lead us toward solutions that will work for us.

I have a special section of my bookshelf (bookshelves, honestly) that is dedicated to “my special books.” These books are old friends that I have accumulated throughout my life journey. Some are books that I enjoyed as a child and, as an adult, find a different type of appreciation for their message. Works of fiction, nonfiction, biographies, poetry, textbooks…they sit next to each other, and all share the common thread that they inspired me and encouraged me to think about my life in a different way.

One of the books in that section is Jane Goodall’s The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times (co-authored with Doug Abrams).*

I recently had the privilege of seeing Dr. Goodall when she traveled to Austin to give a talk on hope. It was a good time to hear a modern-day hero talk about hope and her own struggle to hold onto hope during difficult times. Get this, Searching…Jane Goodall today is 91 years old, and she travels 300 days a year to give speeches about how we as individual people who are living in a scary time can make a difference. Pretty impressive, isn’t it?

During her speech and in her wonderful book, Dr. Goodall shared a lot of inspirational stories and reminded me that when I feel my grip on hope slipping, I need to double down on paying attention to what I can do to make a difference in my life, in my community, for the non-human animals who share the world with me, and for the planet that holds me and all other life forms.

It is not hope’s job to find us, Jane Goodall said to a captivated audience that evening. It instead is our job to keep walking toward hope.

Now, Searching, back to your question. What can we do to remain hopeful and optimistic during hard times?

We find places around us where we could make a difference. We don’t have to be Jane Goodall or the Dalai Lama to make a difference. We can begin with seemingly small gestures that make a big impact because they remind us that we are not alone and they give our hearts a chance to connect with other people’s hearts. It is easy to forget that woven in our DNA is a primitive need to connect and draw strength from being a pack member. As mammals, we are not intended to walk this life journey alone.

One summer several years ago, my elementary school-aged son asked if we could buy bottles of Gatorade to give out to people who looked thirsty. I said absolutely. It was one of the best purchases I have ever made. It brought smiles to the faces of strangers and a smile to our hearts as our lives intersected for that brief moment in time.

As Jane Goodall said, hope doesn’t come to us. We must walk to it.

Keep walking, Searching for Positivity, even when your feet are weary and you feel like you aren’t making much progress. When we choose kindness, action and human connection, our feet remain pointed in the direction of hope.

P.S. Not sure where to begin? I’ve put together a sample of low-cost, high-impact activities that promote kindness and hope. I hope (there’s that word again!) these ideas inspire you to discover new ways to connect with people in your community.

13 Acts of Practical Kindness

1. Keep water bottles or sports drinks in the front seat of your car to hand out to people who look like they could benefit. This is an inexpensive way to make a big difference to someone whose spirits could use a lift.
2. Donate new socks to a homeless shelter or carry them in your car to hand out. Socks are one of the most requested items from shelters because old socks offer little protection from blisters, infection, injury, or the cold. Buying a bulk package of socks is a quick way to make a very big difference.
3. Pick up trash because it’s on the ground, even if you weren’t the one who created the litter. This sends a clear message of respect for your community, and it improves the space for everyone. It may not be my fault, but it is my responsibility to make our community better when I see a need that I could fill.
4. Give a genuine compliment to a stranger. This inspires two things that are so important in our quest to hold onto hope:
   1. Connection with others
   2. Seeing the positive in the world around us
5. Start a pay-it-forward next time you are buying coffee or fast food. Generosity inspires generosity and we all benefit when we approach life and struggles with a generous spirit. This simple pay-it-forward action inspires us to look beyond ourselves and our needs to consider what could provide support and kindness to our neighbors.
   • Variant: Purchase a second cup of coffee or sandwich and ask if they know someone nearby who might benefit.
6. Explore volunteer opportunities in your local community and give a morning of your time. What are the needs in your community and what appeals to you? Animal shelter, diaper bank, rocking babies in the NICU of your local hospital? Find something that you could contribute to help.
7. Send a “I’m thinking about you” text or email. Reach out and honor the connection between you. A simple message reminds us that we are not alone and likely will bring a smile to the other person’s face.
   • Variant: Send a letter to a teacher who inspired you and made a difference. I worked in a school. I guarantee you that no matter what your age, there is a teacher out there who considered you — and likely still considers you — one of his or her “babies” or “kids.” Hearing from you will touch the heart of someone who invested in you.
8. Stack your plates and glasses in restaurants. Show respect for the work that your server(s) did by making their job just a little bit easier.
   • Bonus points if you take a breath and remind yourself that they are busy managing all of their job’s moving parts when the food or the check take a long time to arrive.
9. Return your grocery carts to the front of the store. This very small action adds up to a big difference and shows respect for the store employees and others who will be navigating the parking lot after you leave.
10. Wave the other person to go first when you arrive at the stop signs at the same time. Driving and navigating traffic is stressful for everyone. Be community conscious and show consideration for your fellow drivers.
11. If you get in the elevator first, hold the door open and ask others what their floors are. This small act of kindness and consideration shows a respect for others’ experiences and needs.
12. Consider donating restaurant leftovers. If you have uneaten portions after a meal, consider asking your server to box them up and then ask if they know of anyone in need nearby who might benefit from a meal. Of course, it’s important to use common sense and safety precautions, like separating any food you’ve already eaten from the portion you intend to donate. Also, please don’t do this if you’re feeling unwell.
13. Smile at people. Make eye contact. These small actions make a big difference. They allow people to feel seen and honored and typically foster the connections that inspire hope.

We are all in this together. Ubuntu, fellow traveler.

– Jennifer

*Goodall, J., & Abrams, D. (2021). The book of hope: A survival guide for trying times. Celadon Books.