How to Stop Procrastinating with Self-Compassion, Structure, and Curiosity
Pushing through procrastination involves more than willpower and self-discipline. It begins with curiosity and self-reflection about our approach to managing our time, attention, and energy. A psychologist explains the emotional and cognitive reasons behind procrastination and shares practical strategies to help you get unstuck.
Welcome back, fellow travelers.
Anyone else find yourself up too late—or too early—racing to meet a deadline, fully aware the stress was avoidable with better time management? In a world full of constant distractions and 24/7 access to information, it’s easy to put things off and promise ourselves we’ll start later. It’s easy to then beat ourselves up and lament our “nonexistent” self-discipline. But here’s the truth: procrastination isn’t about laziness or a lack of willpower. More often, it’s our brain’s way of protecting us from discomfort—like anxiety, boredom, or fear of failure.
Sound familiar? Let’s dive in.
Dear Jennifer,
I wait until the last minute to do everything. I wish I had good reasons for my procrastination, but I usually waste time watching TV, scrolling social media, or playing games on my phone. I still get everything done, but it causes a lot of stress—and I always regret that I didn’t give my best effort. I feel guilty that I was lazy instead of working harder. Help?
—Procrastination Pro
Dear Procrastination Pro,
I hear you, fellow traveler.
Years ago, I gave a talk to a group of reading specialists about managing stress. One asked when I’d share a list of strategies. She looked surprised when I said, “Not today.” I asked if she’d ever open a random book to page 32 and tell a struggling reader, “Let’s start here—it feels lucky.” Of course not. She’d start by assessing what the student already knew, where they were stuck, and what was just beyond reach.
Tackling procrastination works the same way.
Before jumping to “10 ways to stop procrastinating,” start with curiosity. What’s getting in your way? What drives the procrastination?
As ADHD researcher Russell Barkley explains, ADHD—a neurological condition that often affects time and task management—isn’t a problem of knowing what to do; it’s a problem of not doing what you know to do. That applies here too, fellow traveler. You probably already know what would help—but something keeps getting in the way.
What could that something be?
When we try to fix behavior without understanding and addressing what fuels it, the behavior often returns as soon as motivation fades. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu reminded us, helping people out of the river matters—but so does going upstream to handle what’s pushing them in.
So, let’s start with curiosity and go upstream, Procrastination Pro. When does your procrastination cause difficulty? What patterns do you see? When do you feel most frustrated because you delayed taking earlier action? Are your expectations and commitments reasonable for the number of waking hours you actually have?
Your letter suggests your procrastination isn’t about choosing meaningful rest, getting lost in a beloved hobby, or prioritizing relationships over to-do lists. So beginning with curiosity may be the best starting place, fellow traveler.
Three common psychological reasons for procrastination and strategies to overcome them with structure and self-compassion.
1. You’re Overwhelmed and Don’t Know Where to Start
The to-do list grows faster than items get checked off. Life feels like a tangled string of Christmas lights, and you can’t find either end. The Spanish word for “overwhelmed” also means “flooded.” That’s exactly how this kind of procrastination feels.
A lack of structure can fuel our stress. Just like dog trainers often note that a dog’s behavior reflects the owner’s consistency, our brains also need structure to stay calm and productive.
After making space for feeling overwhelmed, consider these tips:
- Write down everything that needs to get done—no editing, no judgment.
- Break big tasks into 15-minute time slots. Overestimate how many you’ll need.
- Pick a good starting point: the most important, the easiest, or what feels doable now.
- If you feel overwhelmed again, pause and breathe. Organizing chaos takes time—but a plan gives you a map.
- Decide how many tasks you’ll complete this week and block them in your planner.
2. The Tasks Feel Boring or Meaningless
Sometimes procrastination happens because the work feels uninspiring. If our tasks don’t connect to something that matters, motivation fades.
Reconnect with purpose and see if motivation returns.
Once you’ve acknowledged those feelings, consider this approach:
- What: Name the task and break it into clear, manageable steps. Estimate how many 15-minute blocks each will take.
- Why / Who: Why does this matter? How might it help you or someone important to you?
- How: Order steps in a way that works for your brain—start with the highest priority, the biggest bother, or what makes other tasks easier.
- Where: Where will you do the task? Clear your workspace, gather supplies, and silence distractions.
- When: Match tasks to your energy. Morning person? Deadline approaching? Plan accordingly.
- Now: Commit to just 15 minutes. When the timer goes off, decide whether to keep going or take a short break—and be sure to schedule break time.
3. You Start Working… Then Get Distracted
You sit down to work and suddenly find yourself doing laundry, answering texts, or reorganizing your closet. Sound familiar?
Our brains are wired for novelty and distraction—especially when we don’t plan for interruptions—but small adjustments can help you stay focused and follow through.
After noticing what you’re feeling, consider these strategies:
- List every task—both dreaded and enjoyable—and make them specific (“Clean room” → “Change sheets,” “Declutter nightstand”).
- Estimate how many 15-minute blocks each will take. Always overestimate the time commitment.
- Schedule tasks into realistic calendar blocks.
- If your phone is a distraction, put it in another room while you work.
- Reward follow-through: a walk, coffee, or an episode of your favorite show.
- Remember: avoidance increases stress, while follow-through builds self-trust and confidence.
The Bottom Line: Choose Curiosity Over Criticism
So, Procrastination Pro—what’s getting in your way? Are you ready to address the obstacle with curiosity and self-compassion instead of shame?
Changing any habit—including procrastination—takes patience and tolerance for mistakes. Growth happens through imperfection—and through gently refining our approach to challenges. When you release guilt, comparison, and harsh self-talk, you make space for curiosity and insight—and that’s where real change begins.
Procrastination isn’t a flaw or laziness, Procrastination Pro. It’s a signal to pause, reflect, and re-evaluate priorities, expectations, and your relationship with time.
When you meet it with curiosity instead of criticism, you reclaim both your time and your self-trust.
Ubuntu, fellow traveler.
—Jennifer
P.S. If procrastination and overwhelm are regular visitors in your life, remember that help is available. Therapy and executive-functioning or ADHD coaching can help uncover what’s getting in the way and build strategies to ease your burden. We explored strategies to manage time, attention, and energy in an earlier blog on this website and in another blog on our Substack website.
If this post resonated with you, you’re also welcome to continue exploring your procrastination patterns using the Rest. Reflect. Reimagine. exercise below.
© 2026 Jennifer Ayres, PhD | Still River Counseling, PLLC
Written with care for fellow travelers navigating life’s changing currents.
🌐 StillRiverCounseling.com | 📍 Austin, TX
Gentle Reminder:
The reflections shared here are intended to offer insight and support. They are not a substitute for therapy or professional mental-health care, and reading this blog does not create a therapeutic or doctor–patient relationship.
Rest. Reflect. Reimagine.
Travel below the surface.
Getting Unstuck from Procrastination
Using Curiosity, Structure, and Self-Compassion
Procrastination isn’t a character flaw — it’s a signal that our brains are resisting a task and a new strategy to manage our time, attention, and energy is needed.
Use this worksheet to explore what could be getting in the way and create a plan that might help.
Step 1: Notice any relevant procrastination patterns.
Think about a recent time you procrastinated and later felt frustrated.
What task(s) were you avoiding?
When does procrastination tend to show up for you? (time of day, type of task, certain settings, certain emotions)
What feelings might have been present? (check all that apply)
☐ Overwhelm
☐ Boredom
☐ Anxiety
☐ Fear of failure
☐ Perfectionism
☐ Low energy / burnout
☐ Uncertainty about where to start
☐ Other: _______________________________________
Step 2: Naming Your Procrastination Struggle.
Circle the statement that feels most true:
A. I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.
B. The task feels boring or meaningless.
C. I start working but get easily distracted.
(You can circle more than one — many of us experience all three.)
Step 3A: If You Feel Overwhelmed
List everything that needs to get done (no editing):
Now choose ONE starting point:
☐ Most important
☐ Easiest
☐ Feels most doable right now
Break it into 15-minute steps:
Step 1: _________________________________________
Step 2: _________________________________________
Step 3: _________________________________________
How many 15-minute blocks will this likely take?
________ (remember to overestimate)
Step 3B: If the Task Feels Boring or Meaningless
WHAT exactly needs to be done? (be specific)
WHY does this matter?
To me: _________________________________________
To someone else I care about: _____________________
HOW will I start? (best entry point for my brain)
☐ Highest priority
☐ Biggest bother
☐ Easiest first step
☐ Makes another task easier
WHERE will I work? What do I need ready?
Location: ______________________________________
Supplies / setup: _______________________________
WHEN is my best time to do this?
☐ Morning ☐ Afternoon ☐ Evening ☐ Deadline-driven
NOW: My 15-minute start time is: __________________
Step 3C: If You Get Distracted Easily
Specific task list:
(Example: not “clean,” but “load dishwasher,” “clear desk”)
Distraction plan:
☐ Phone in another room
☐ Notifications off
☐ Browser tabs closed
☐ Background noise (music, white noise)
How many 15-minute blocks will I schedule? ________
Small reward after completing task:
Step 4: A Self-Compassionate Reality Check
Are my expectations realistic for the time and energy I have today?
☐ Yes
☐ Somewhat
☐ Probably not
If not, what could I adjust?
☐ Fewer tasks
☐ More time per task
☐ Asking for help
☐ Postponing non-urgent items
Step 5: Strategy Review & Tweaking
After you try this plan:
What went better than expected?
What didn’t work and needs adjusting? (not judging)
One thing I did today that ease my burden later was…?
© 2026 Jennifer Ayres, PhD | Still River Counseling, PLLC
Written with care for fellow travelers navigating life’s changing currents.
🌐 StillRiverCounseling.com | 📍 Austin, TX
