Self-compassion when overwhelmed can help us navigate big feelings with kindness instead of criticism and support instead of shame.
Often, while most of the rest of the world is still asleep, you will find me walking with my two dogs, Maui and Einstein.
Why?
My beloved, almost-nine-year-old, mixed-breed dog, Maui, who is full of spirit and has a kind heart.
Maui quite simply has moments of being too much.
When he sees another dog, something gets triggered in him. He begins tugging at the leash, attempting to run over to the understandably alarmed dog (and owner), barking almost hysterically. In other words, his adrenaline takes over. It’s unclear if he sees the other dog as a potential playmate or a potential threat. I have never wanted to find out.
Last night the boys and I decided to take a family walk about 8 PM. We agreed to take Einstein with us.
Giovanni looked at Maui, who was waiting with a wagging tail by the door while Angel fastened Einstein’s leash. “Mom, what about Maui?”
I paused. A resounding “No” was my immediate response as I faced four sets of big brown eyes that looked at me, awaiting my answer. But the eyes softened something inside of me.
“Well, it’s likely we’re going to run into other dogs. What do you think?”
“I think we should take him, Mom. It’s a family walk and he’s part of the family.”
So, I exhaled and off we went.
We got to the edge of our street and turned right to walk the path that the dogs and I take in the morning. After we passed the second house, I asked Giovanni if he wanted to hold Maui’s leash and he said yes. I showed him where to grab the leash if Maui needed a quick intervention or his strength became overwhelming. Giovanni nodded.
We were a few houses beyond that point when we saw a couple walking their two dogs.
I felt my heart rate speed. Maui and Giovanni were behind me, Angel and Einstein up ahead. I heard Maui start barking, and the couple stopped to turn and look at us before proceeding.
I turned around, fully prepared to give Maui a stern “Enough!” and offer to take the leash back from Giovanni.
But I stopped.
Giovanni was crouched down beside Maui and was talking to him in a voice so quiet that I couldn’t hear him a few feet away. He was holding the leash firmly in one hand while stroking Maui with the other and encouraging him to bring his attention back to Giovanni.
Once Maui stopped pulling on the leash, Giovanni stood up and said, “Okay, good boy. Now let’s go.”
Maui followed along without struggle.
I commented to Giovanni that he handled that situation beautifully.
He said, “Mom, he needed someone to be nice to him instead of getting mad.”
Reaching For Self-Compassion When Overwhelmed
“He needed someone to be nice to him instead of getting mad.”
How often do we need the same thing, fellow traveler?
How often, when we feel overwhelmed or overstimulated, do we need kindness and patience to settle our nervous systems…and instead respond with anger?
Or impatience
Or critical self-talk
Or shame
Or fear
Or a long list of every less-than-perfect thing we’ve done
Or every mistake we’ve made?
Too often. Way too often.
We need from ourselves what Giovanni gave to Maui.
A pause.
A gentle reminder that we aren’t alone with our big feelings.
A lot of love.
Someone to crouch down and meet us in our space.
Kind words spoken in a gentle tone.
Until our attention refocuses
And our energy returns to a calmer state.
Then we’re ready to keep walking forward.
As Ram Dass so beautifully said, we’re all just walking each other home.
Overexcited dogs and overstimulated humans alike.
May we make the walk a little more compassionate.
May we remember that sometimes, before we can keep moving forward, we simply need someone to crouch down beside us and be kind.
And may we learn to be that someone for ourselves.
Ubuntu, fellow traveler.
Jennifer
Keep Exploring
Interested in reading more Still River Reflections that explore self-compassion? Here are a few you might enjoy:
How Self-Doubt and Self-Compassion Build Courage
© 2026 Jennifer Ayres, PhD | Still River Counseling, PLLC
Written with care for fellow travelers navigating life’s changing currents.
🌐 StillRiverCounseling.com | 📍 Austin, TX
Gentle Reminder:
The reflections shared here are intended to offer insight and support. They are not a substitute for therapy or professional mental-health care, and reading this blog does not create a therapeutic or doctor–patient relationship.
