Happy December, fellow travelers.
I hope you enjoyed the Holiday Survival Guide blog series and found some helpful tips to navigate the challenges of the holiday season.
Last week, I presented at a conference and shared the Energy Penny exercise with a group of psychologists. Remember Megan from the Holiday Survival Guide blogs? We talked about how many energy pennies (redefined as Energy Buddies) she was using as she navigated holiday grief, financial pressures, and the stress of newly single parenting. Once we, as a group, “paid” Megan’s energy costs, she had a deficit of 10 Energy Buddies.
Like Megan, we are vulnerable to making poor energy investments as the holidays progress. Exploring our emotional energy—and where we are investing it—is an excellent self-care strategy as we shift from Thanksgiving and turn our attention toward Christmas/Hanukkah and New Year’s.
Read on.
Dear Jennifer,
The political situation is overwhelming me.
The cruelty, the attacking comments, the lack of compassion…it’s too much when I’m already feeling stretched and anxious. I know that social media isn’t healthy for me, and I can’t keep myself away from it. Do I close my accounts? Any recommendations?
— Social Media Struggler
Dear Struggler,
I hear you. I hear you. I hear you.
You’re not imagining it—the world feels loud right now.
I am paddling alongside you in my own canoe. It’s hard to remain afloat these days…we’re navigating scary rapids, and calm water isn’t showing itself just yet.
You know that quote about how a sailor only becomes skilled when the water is churning? I don’t know about you, Struggler, but today’s churning water is making me mentally seasick. It takes a lot of energy to keep our canoes upright right now and, if we don’t have a good energy-investment strategy, we risk capsizing.
Let me tell you a story, fellow traveler.
A Story About Pennies
Years ago, I worked in a primary care clinic. During one memorable session, a patient spontaneously ranked his top three stressors in the order of emotional weight:
- His daughter’s boyfriend — a 25-year-old man with a Peter Pan complex and an unhealthy relationship with marijuana.
- His job insecurity — the rumor mill’s whispers that his long-held leadership position, nearly three decades in the making, was likely to be eliminated in the next round of budget cuts.
- His mother’s aging and the slow, tender changes that come with it.
I reached for a small bag on the table and poured its contents out. One hundred shiny copper pennies rolled across the surface.
“There are 100 pennies here,” I said. “Let’s imagine they represent your life energy. You never have more than 100—and you only have all 100 on your best, fully charged day.”
He nodded.
“How many pennies are going to worrying about your daughter right now?”
He grabbed a handful. “Thirty-five.”
We continued allocating pennies to his other stressors until only five pennies remained on the table.
“That’s what you have left to manage everything else,” I said.
He stared at the tiny pile. “That’s not a lot.”
“No,” I agreed. “Which means the plan has to be intentional.”
And so, we began shifting pennies back—adding support, lowering pressure, introducing healthier habits—until his energy pile looked fuller, steadier, and far more livable.
Why Your Question Reminded Me of This
Your letter, dear Struggler, brought this patient to mind. Because whether it’s life stressors or political turmoil or the enticing pull of social media, the pennies still come from the same pile.
Yes, in a perfect world, we could not lose our pennies in the first place. Simply not worry. Simply not scroll. Simply move on from what isn’t serving us. Easier said than done, no?
Thinking of our emotional lives in terms of energy investment makes destabilizing times feel less like personal failings and more like strategic decisions.
Your Emotional Pulse Check
Before deciding whether to scroll, post, or delete, pause and ask: How am I feeling right now?
- Neutral, good, grounded? → You have pennies to spare.
- Angry, sad, exhausted, anxious, lonely, or sleep-deprived? → You may already be in a deficit.
Energy works like a bank account. To maintain emotional equilibrium, we need an available balance that feels comfortable. Withdrawals cannot consistently exceed deposits—not if our goal is well-being and meaningful relationships.
And social media?
It is one of the fastest ways to lose pennies without even noticing it.
My Recommendations for You, Struggler
1. List your top five worries and energy consumers.
Get honest about where your pennies are going.
2. Examine how many pennies remain.
How comfortable do you feel with what’s left?
Social media can be a wild card—it can restore pennies or drain them rapidly.
3. Before logging on, check your balance.
If you don’t have enough pennies, consider doing something restorative first.
4. Protect yourself from a negative emotional balance.
Don’t swipe that emotional debit card when you’re already overdrawn.
5. If you do have pennies to spare, ask yourself:
“Is this really where I want to invest my time, attention, and energy today?”
Should You Delete Your Social Media Accounts?
If the answer isn’t clear, Struggler, honor that. It may not be time for an all-or-nothing decision.
A temporary break isn’t failure—it’s self-compassion.
You might experiment with:
- Removing apps from your phone
- Logging out between uses
- Muting political content
- Checking news only through non-social media sources
- Setting intentional boundaries around scrolling times
Perhaps it will feel more comfortable to renegotiate your relationship with these platforms rather than abandon them entirely.
Ultimately, you alone hold the power to manage your energy pennies—and to decide whether social media is an investment or a drain.
Invest wisely.
Final Reflection
It’s tough out there as we navigate the financial pressures, overbooked schedules, and unrealistic expectations that often define the holiday season. One of the kindest practices we can offer ourselves is a simple pause: a moment to examine our credit card statements, calendars, and text/email messages, and ask a few grounding questions before we press “submit” on a purchase or give a “yes” to a request for our time and attention.
Before you say yes, consider:
- Is this “yes” a good investment of my time, attention, and energy?
- Does it align with what matters most to me?
- Will this “yes” create tension elsewhere?
- Will it add financial strain later? Will it increase stress by tightening an already-full schedule?
- Am I saying “yes” because I genuinely want to commit—or because I want to make someone else happy?
- (Quick reminder: Someone else’s happiness is not on your to-do or can-do lists.)
- Is “no” or “not right now” a more self-compassionate response?
- How many energy pennies—or Energy Buddies—will this “yes” require, and where will they come from?
As I told a client yesterday, the older I get (I can hear my grandfathers in that phrase), the more I realize that life is about managing our energy. When we invest it in pursuits that do not bring value, connection, or meaning, we waste it.
Let me repeat the reminder that anchors this entire season:
Invest wisely.
Ubuntu, fellow traveler.
— Jennifer
Check out the Holiday Survival Guide blog series!
Part 1: Setting Boundaries and Managing Stress
Part 2: Managing Grief & Emotional Triggers
